eSnooze

The Devil Is In Town! 

1. 
   

The 39th annual Masochist Convention is being held in St. Louis, Misery next week running from August 11th through the 17th. The events scheduled include noon lawn mowing everyday with old style push mowers, taking a driving tour of St. Louis without air conditioning with all windows closed. a picnic in full sunlight (no shade) in Forest Park and of course nightly moon bathing without mosquito repellant. Last years event of sleeping in a refrigerator box outdoors will not be repeated this year due to the fear caused by cock roaches running all over participants while they were sleeping. The keynote speaker this year was supposed to be Hawaiian native Jesse Chance (pictured above), however he was reportedly kidnapped by the Khmer Rouge while visiting Thailand and is said to be held in a bamboo cage in the river water in Cambodia. No ransom demands have been made so we doubt he'll be speaking this year. Members are watching the weather reports in St. Louis and hope that the 100+ degree temperatures and 100% humidity will last at least until the convention ends.

A St. Louis man born without eyeballs has actually made a claim that he can see the future. When interviewed by eSnooze and asked what the future looks like he replied"Don't ask, its not a pretty picture". So much for visionaries.

On a recent visit to Facebook it was discovered that someone named Melvin claimed to be living in Chicago. Now, it is widely known that Melvin(formerly of Sol's Meat Market in St. Louis) lives in Arvada, Colorado. Of course the other Melvin also claims to be from Sol's as well. So to solve this dilemma we are asking both Melvins to send in answers to all of the questions below so that we can determine who the real Melvin is:

1. What did Susan G. bring to the Beggar's Banquet at Dr. Beast's moms house circa 1971?


2. What state does Lips live in? (one of the 50 U.S. states, not a state of mind)


3.Who is Vern Lupschel?


4. What is the recipe for Mariettas pizza?


5. How old was the Snoozeletter founder on 2-12-09?


6. Bringing his date home to her parents house one night, where did Drugless
park the car?


7. Who hit a police car while driving on a suspended license?

8. How good is Sol's kishka?

9. What happened every night at Stan and Rosalie's house after dinner?


10. What is Sneds current endeavor?



Your answers can be tendered here under comments. Please only reply if your name is Melvin and you formerly made knishes.

An early photograph has been found while searching through ancient Snoozeletter files. The photo is of Peter Christopher famed New York night club owner. Christopher founded the Reno Sweeney Night Club back in the early 1970's. His fame and fortune later allowed him to develop several major corporations, the most famous of which is Kitchen Beautician. Mr. Christopher has kept a fairly low profile in recent years after staring in many feature films. His most notable being "Alert, Writing 1 the Basics" in which he played a law enforcement instructor. He also had quite a career as a major boxing announcer. Although reclusive, reports have surfaced that his face is frozen in time and still looks the same today as in this photo.

Jeffrey Wayne Twillman has agreed to star in a remake of the George Burns movie "Oh God". Twillman pictured at left donning a wig and Burns signature glasses will be featured in "Oh God Willing" which is being produced by SpyCo Films and is expected to be released by summer 2010.
Jesse Chance, creative director at SpyCo Films said that Twillman was reluctant to take the part but after he was placed in a large dog crate for 3 days he then willingly agreed. The movie is actually a prequel to the original "Oh God" movie. In this version, Twillman plays a younger George Burns who has not ascended to God like status yet but God willing he will. Shooting is already underway at SpyCo Films legendary basement studio in St. Louis, Mo. Famous film director Peter Christopher has agreed to direct the film but was reportedly upset about the location stating that "I only like to shoot on the coast" The coast however reported that it was not available in time for early production runs. Watch for the release sometime next summer!

A former insurance salesman who operated a legitimate