Masochist Convention Heads For St. Louis

The 39th annual Masochist Convention is being held in St. Louis, Misery next week running from August 11th through the 17th. The events scheduled include noon lawn mowing everyday with old style push mowers, taking a driving tour of St. Louis without air conditioning with all windows closed. a picnic in full sunlight (no shade) in Forest Park and of course nightly moon bathing without mosquito repellant. Last years event of sleeping in a refrigerator box outdoors will not be repeated this year due to the fear caused by cock roaches running all over participants while they were sleeping. The keynote speaker this year was supposed to be Hawaiian native Jesse Chance (pictured above), however he was reportedly kidnapped by the Khmer Rouge while visiting Thailand and is said to be held in a bamboo cage in the river water in Cambodia. No ransom demands have been made so we doubt he'll be speaking this year. Members are watching the weather reports in St. Louis and hope that the 100+ degree temperatures and 100% humidity will last at least until the convention ends.